Un Amore Per Sempre
by DemeterFluff
Summary: The title means "A Love Forever" in Italian. Demeter seeks help in deciding between Munkustrap and Macavity. Please r/r


**Un Amore Per Sempre**

Demeter stared up at the sky, reflecting on all that had passed. Her life had been a blur of late, and she had decided that she needed to collect her thoughts. She had one of the biggest decisions she would ever have to make on her mind. Would she live out her days with the wild, unruly and sometimes viciously evil Macavity, or remain in the careful, loving embrace of the silver tabby named Munkustrap?

Her mind never managed to come up with a true answer, as she loved both toms almost equally. The only thing that detered her from Macavity was that he had forced her to mate with him already. However, he was so much more exciting than anything she was used to in the Junkyard. Munkustrap, on the other paw, respected her, and was always there for her when she needed someone to talk to or be with, or when she needed protection. Munku never forced her to do anything she didn't want to, and she loved that about him.

Letting her mind wander, the gold and black queen vaguely wondered if she would ever be able to decide whether Munkutrap or Macavity truly held her heart in captivity. She wished that she could decide, because she knew that both toms knew that she loved the other as well, and that the question must be on their minds whenever they saw her.

With a drawn out sigh, the rather small queen rose to her feet, to find some one to discuss things with. She settled upon her sister, Bombalurina. Bomba was fairly an expert at dealing with toms, and Demi figured that she would be able to help her the best.

Finding the red queen's den took Demeter only moments. She paused outside to compose herself, and then called, "Bomba? Are you home?" Almost immediately, her sister appeared inside the entrance to her den.

"Hey Demi," Bomba greeted her sister with a grin. Noting Demi's seriousness, she continued, "What is it? Do you want to come inside?" Demi nodded solemnly, and Bomba moved aside to allow her to enter.

"Bomba, I have to decide soon," Demi told her. Her sister didn't understand right away, as she gave her a rather questioning look. "Between Munkustrap and Macavity. And I don't know who I want to be with." Bomba understood, but shrugged her shoulders.

"The obvious choice would be Munkustrap, if you intend on staying a Jellicle," she replied aftera moment. "You know Macavity would never let you stay here if you chose to be his mate." Demi nodded; she had realized that long ago, when Macavity had first met her. "But I know what you see in Macavity, as well," finished her sister. "It's definitely going to be a hard choice to make, and whatever choice you do make, you're bound to regret something about it."

Demeter's green eyes betrayed her calm facade. She still had no idea what to do. "I love Munkustrap more than anything," she told her sister, "But Macavity is so alluring. He's so much more exciting and wild... but I don't know if that's something I find appealing or something I really long to have."

"Keep in mind that Macavity raped you," Bomba reminded her gently. "Just because he mated with you doesn't necessarily mean he really even cares about you." As if Demeter needed reminding about what Macavity had once done to her. She had relived that night at least a million times in the two years since it had happened. She began to wonder if it wasn't because he had done that that she found him so appealing.

"You think that's why I long to be with him? Am I seeing love there that doesn't exist?" she inquired, asking herself as much as she was asking her sister.

"I'm not you, so I can't say for sure, but in your position, I would want to know that he had done it out of love rather than lust," Bomba replied, somewhat sad that her sister might actually be thinking what she had feared. "But I don't think Macavity really knows what love is; love for you or anything else but himself."

"I see your point, and I guess you're right. I was hoping that he loved me, and that that was why he did what he did. I may be wrong. So you think I should choose Munkustrap, then?" Demeter asked cautiously.

"He would seem the best choice, if you've narrowed it to him or Macavity," was Bomba's well thought out reply. "But it's entirely your decision. Don't let me make the choice for you." Demi nodded, almost numbly.

"I think I'll talk to Old Deuteronomy about it. He knows his sons the best, and would probably be able to help me," she said, "But thank you for your help." She left without another word, and walked slowly to the Vicarage Wall, where she figured she might find the Jellicle Leader.

Old Deuteronomy was sitting in his usual place on the wall, and Demeter easily leapt up beside the Jellicle Leader. He sensed her presence, and turned slightly to face the golden queen. "What is it, child?" he asked. "You've come here to ask me something." It always made Demeter, and most of the other Jellicles, nervous that he could read their minds on occasion.

"I have to make a decision, Old Deuteronomy," Demi replied nervously. "I'm at the age where I can choose my mate... and I don't know whether I should choose Munkustrap or Macavity." She surprised herself that she was able to get right to the point.

"You know the good and bad of both?" Deuteronomy responded with a question. Demi nodded slowly.

"I think I do," she explained, feeling sort of embarrassed about her quest. "But I wanted to know if there was anything you think I ought to know before I make up my mind." She stared at the ground, and waited for his answer.

"Macavity will not be happy with whatever choice you make, child," Deuteronomy told her. "He has come to me about you before. He wants you to be his mate, but he doesn't want to settle down. He'd rather just have you and then leave you, keeping only his memories of you." Demeter listened carefully. She never would have thought Macavity would have gone to Old Deuteronomy about love problems!

"Anything else?" Demi asked at last.

"Munkustrap loves you with all his heart, but he doesn't know if you love him back," the wise old tom said. "He truly doesn't believe he's good enough for you." Demeter hardly listened. She had already made up her mind.

"Thank you," she called over her shoulder. Deuteronomy smiled as he watched the young queen run back toward the junkyard.

"Any time, child," he said, more to himself than to Demeter. "Any time."


End file.
